Ahoy Mates!
I'd like to be the first to step me bucket boot forward and put me two doubloons on the horizon line.
Aye. I've seen it coming. I've sensed it on the wind. I've tasted the first batches of it; raw and kinda dusty.
And Foxmorton is hardly ever wrong. (Well, except about men. And whether or not she's had too much to drink. And if you can potty train a goat or not. (you cannot by the way) Where to put apostrophe's. And most commonly when referring to herself in the third person.)
So here it is. And I'm not sure you're going to be able to stop it: Cowboys are the new pirates.
Yes.
You can p'shaw all you want. But it's coming sure as shit at the back end of a rodeo. Cowboy is going to be the new pirate.
It's subtle yet. Big, burly men bustin' angry bulls and drinkin' a cold one, always with that one unruly lock of hair. Giant ass pick up trucks driven by a man with forearms the size of milk cans and you just know he smells like sun dried linen, hard workin' sweat and just a touch of fresh manure. And then there's the way they love their dog.
The other day I saw one of these good ol' boys fall off his horse and lose his hat and, yep, there it was......the pirate head rag and a pony tail that said: Yank me hard.
It could happen, this overtaking. And then the debate would begin. And the Ninjas would be left out in the cold. I mean, seriously, Ninjas don't even have ponytails.
I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. On the one hand I think I'm gonna like being called ma'am though I'm a little worried about the catch phrase. You can't really get as good a range with yee-haw as you can with arrrrr.
So I'm warning you now. Before the hat market takes a turn. That way you won't be surprised and you can say: "Hey, Foxmorton said that was gonna happen."
And when it does just keep in mind: I'm your huckleberry.
~Foxmorton
2011
