Friday, August 17, 2007
THOSE SEVEN WEIRD THINGS...
THE OFT' TIMES REQUESTED: 7 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME
(not to be confused with: 50 Things About Me, Name 2 Things, Name 3 Things, Answer All These Questions That No One Will Ever Read The Answers To and What's Your Pirate/Superhero/Werewolf/Crayon/Favorite Sandwich Name?
Just 7? Ok, that's going to take some narrowing down. In whose eyes? My own?
The General Public at Large? My Third Grade Nun? My last beau?
You see, it's all relative. (Wait! Don't ask my relatives! Anyway, I'm adopted.)
Submitted, in descending order, for your approval:
10. I collect old, dirty wooden salad bowls. Now, on the surface this may not qualify as especially weird. Not until it got out of hand, anyway.........
9. I have an exceptionally HUGE Personal Space. It's so huge as to make other people uncomfortable. Those who know me have been known to draw a chalk outline around me when I'm faced with newcomers.
8. I can legally put "Pirate" on my IRS returns. (I don't...but I like knowing that I can.)
7. Coriander makes my lips swell.
Now that I think about it I really don't know if this is 'Ascending' or 'Descending' order.
It makes my head fuzzy to think about it. Which brings me to:
6. I'm hopeless at math, logic and word problems.
5. If I could bring my Dog and my Cat I would board a pirate ship tomorrow and sail to a past century....and never return.
4. I can't leave the house for an adventure unless it's completely spotless and I've shaved my legs.
3. My passion is extinguished by the smell of after shave.
I know. But it is. Give me the smell of a dried in the sun linen shirt....honest sweat, rosemary and bergamot soap or leather on a guy and I'm good to go. But one whiff of after shave and/or cologne and I completely shut down. And there's no getting it back either. Don't even try. (So, if you ever want me to not want to sleep with you...well, now you know. Gosh, add a wee bouquet of coriander to that and you've got yourself a regular little vile of Anti-Foxmorton Potion-No Known Antidote!)
I also cannot abide a man who is frightened of a bodice. I can only like a guy who knows his way around stays. Can put one on me with no trepidation and little difficulty and, when the occasion calls for it, take it off as well without fear in his soul. Now, before you accuse me of trying to sneak in another Weird Thing I'd just like to point out that all of #3 is related. (No, please don't ask people I'm related to...) I've found that men who are not afraid of a bodice always smell like sun dried linen and leather.......
2. I am an obsessive collage-er. It's true. I wield a glue stick like a cutlass. If I didn't collage it then it can't be happening....that's my motto!
1. My weirdness doesn't bother me. It just bothers other people. The kind of people who don't like that I live on Isle de Foxmorton. In fact, I'm probably not even all that weird. Wilff, the Gnome that lives in my house, told me so.
submitted this day August '07