Saturday, September 27, 2008

TH' NOOSE AIN'T LOOSE: Part th' Sixth


Steppin' int' th' tunnel I immediately sensed somethin' dank an' foul an' soulless…..but then I come t' realize that were jus' me.

I though then how it were jus' a few short strides from bein' a carefree cheese- eatin' pirate t' a captured freebooter doin' a Hempen Jig fer th' amusement o' th' British.

Life be funny that way.

So whence th' Captain give orders fer "Halt!" I executed th' pirate version….I turned an' hauled arse out o' there!

I made it as far as our blanket where I found a deficit o' both cheese an' husband.

Screamin' Lily Rose were still screamin' (no surprise) an' De'd Aim were keeping back at 45 paces, not trustin' herself at th' faultless 44 nor th' 43 or less -her bein' only a true aim at precisely four an' fourty. The Lady Shawna in her pure and honest way allowed as how I looked pretty but could she have more cheese, please. Mad Peg were jus' lickin' th' face o' a Scot an' tryin' t' get him t' eat her potatoes.

Clearly I hadn't been missed.

I managed a cup o' rum then (fine, several) afore two red faced, heavily breathin' (and I be thinkin' severely chastised!) British lads come back t' fetch me. A great deal wiser t' me antics this time they hauled me back through th' tunnel and presented me t' th' court.

Now, I figured upon me arrival there'd be all manner o' chaos ensuin' but that were naught t' be so. Fer there were me bes' mate Merlyn standin' huddled next t' Lord Talon, meek and subdued and sayin' aye, sir and nay, sir and if ye please, sir like one o' them fancy women at one o' th' Lady Cameron's doin's.

Now this did confuse me greatly as I weren't accustomed t' such from th' Mighty Merlyn. I met her gaze then and she did relieve me a wee bit by givin' me a wink and tellin' me in silent pirate speak t' play along.

Aye well, and good luck wit' that.

I knew not what happened afore me arrival but I weren't goin' t' swing wit'out causin' a great deal o' uproar.

Well, after that there were a lot o' girlish screamin' an' cryin', and that jus' from th' guards, and a good deal o' bayonet pokin' an' madam shut yer gob and th' like but the down slide o' th' upthrust were that I were t' hang fer th' crimes o' Anne Bonny.

Well, I bloody well weren't!

And no matter how many times Merlyn give me th' play along signal I steadfastly ignored it, preferin' t' squirm and caterwaul and cause misery in general t' th' assembled.

So 'twere right afore th' guards contained me wit' th' Captain's own silk scarf-a right fancy touch, I though and mayhap a wee bit enticin' in other circumstances-that I felt a poke in me backside and heard an "Oi!" what I recognized.

There standin' behind me an' glarin' liken unto an unpaid doxy on a bustlin' Friday e'en at a dirty quayside tavern wit' a long line o' jacks still t' go were me own husband.

"I be here." he spake, steppin' forward t' stand by me side.

"Aye ye bloody, buggery, pusillanimous, rat bast'd! An' I thought ye were disavowin' me?" I sputtered in an apoplectic-like fit.

The effrontery o' th' man! I internally raged. Th' egregious nerve t' effectuate such an' appallin' set o' circumstances in me darkest hour! I shuddered. Th', th', th'………

"I changed me mind." he allowed quietly.

Th' stinkin', filthy….softhearted, forgivin', tender, wee sweet heart o' a man…..I thought.

"Husband, I…."

The black silk scarf wound 'round me neck then as they yanked me away from him and tied a knot what would choke th' cud outten a Hi'lan' koo.

Aye then, so this be what it'll feel like I thought, stretchin' up on me tip toes an' strugglin' fer breath, me husband lookin' deep int' me eyes.

"Now, Madam. Now ye know what 'twill be like to hang." spake th' Captain smoothly.

Aye. And me ne'er even havin' th' chance t' tell me own darlin' husband I'd kill him if he'd et all that cheese.


*Stay tuned for Part th' Seventh

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