Sunday, September 14, 2008
THE NOOSE AIN'T LOOSE: PART TH' SECOND
TH' SAILIN' O' VIOLET MOORFIELDS: PART TH' SECOND
Me loyal mate, Mad Peg O’Dunana, also disguised as a lad had crept ashore earlier that ‘morn t’ survey th’ situation from land and t’ give th’ All’s Well signal for th’ landin’. It came t’ me then that me husband knew full well he bathed fer more’n his sweet-smellin’ self.
As it turned out…I were right.
“I know ye.” He spake t’ Mad Peg whilst still on land. Her tellin’ me this immediately upon our reunion ashore.
“Aye. Ye do.” Replied she.
“Then where is she?” he shot back knowin’ full well we rarely travel apart.
Mad Peg, a great pirate but a very poor liar replied, “On the ship.”
The die, it seems, were cast afore I e’er reached shore.
We sailed, close hauled then, back t’ port where I made me leave o’ th’ ship’s fine crew and headed toward th’ Fort.
Me nautical garb afforded me passage past th’ British guard, them bein’ young an’ easily confused. I went then straight t’ me husband.
We raised more’n a few eyebrows as we hurriedly embraced, me bein’ a lad an’ all, but he knew me straight away from th’ red curls escaped from me head rag and th’ insolent yet affectionate way I greeted him.
“Ahoy, ye rat bast’d! It be good t’ lay eyes on ye again!”
“Have a care then wife or I’ll get ye wet.” He replied referrin’ t’ his sodden plaid.
“One can only hope.” I admitted referrin’ not t’ his wet garb.
“I be promoted t’ Cap’n now!” he boasted stickin’ out his chest wit’ pride an’ lookin’ e'er so cute.
“An’ how do ye like it?”
“Well, I hate wearin’ th’ shoes.”
I had t’ smile. Fer that, I suppose, were th’ real reason I married him.
The rest o’ th’ day passed quickly wit’ British militia throwin’ their perceived insult o’ “pirate!” about each time I passed though I took it as a compliment and not wit’out some pride as well. A battle e’en ensued th’ British attackin’ wit’ th’ ferocity o’ wild boars an’ Scots a plenty screamin’ fer their mothers an’ teddy bears and fallin’ down dead at me feet.
Me husband though were fearless and, what’s more safe and fer that I breathed a sigh o’ relief. I weren’t nearly done wit’ him yet.
“Twere in th’ calm after th’ battle that Mad Peg and I made what would turn out t’ be a mos’ grievous error and attracted more attention t’ ourselves by acceptin’ an invitation t’ th’ Ladies Tea.
Now, th’ words ‘ladies’ and ‘tea’ should o’ given me a heads-up right away but I were anxious t’ take suspicion as t’ why he were moonin’ o’er a young lad away from me husband. And besides, Mad Peg wanted tea in a fancy cup. In sooth, she don’t ask fer much so we politely accepted ne’er givin’ thought that we were supposed t’ be lads.
Aye, th’ Ladies Tea! All th’ scones ye could cram int’ yer gob albeit under th’ disapprovin’ eye o’ th’ Lady Cameron, wife t’ th’ clan’s chief, whose size bespoke o’some serious samplin’ durin’ th’ biscuit-bakin’ process. Garbed in an ostentatious plaid she had th’ look o’ a Yule gift wrapped wit’ too little paper and did give me th’ Evil Eye fer refusin’ t’ comply wit’ th’ rules. Seems farts ain’t allowed at a ladies tea though th’ Lady Cameron looked as though she could o’ outdone me in that department iffen she’d a mind to. Mad Peg fit right in though an’, fergettin’ herself, took her place up front an’ sipped tea like a fine lady. Like I said, Mad Peg do na lie verra well. I stayed in th’ back t’ keep an eye on things all th’ while getting’ yelled at fer puttin’ me feet on th’ furniture. But th’ Lady Cameron appeared t’ hav’ our number and by th’ squinty eye she give us I could tell she knew our secret. Though th’ question remained: What would she do about it?
I cringed as Mad Peg stuck her pinky in th’ air.
The Prince joined us then and all th’ ladies did fuss o’er him greatly which were probably due t’ him lookin’ like a china dolly wit’ poseable parts. I kept silent though fer th’ Lady Cameron had her eye on me. Plus, I had it in mind t’ plunder a few more scones.
They was good scones.
We accosted th’ Prince as he were takin’ his leave demandin’ payment o’ th’ two sovereigns he kept promisin’ us but he put us off wit’ borin’ talk o’ his coffers an’ bade us follow him t’ his quarters. But I weren’t in th’ mood fer a hangin’…or worse…so I ducked t’ th’ privy whence his back were turned . Mad Peg followed through though, brave or daft I weren’t sure, an’ as I emerged from me hidin’ place I found meself alone wit’ me husband.
Me year’s absence had done naught t’ improve his disposition at bein’ abandoned on his handfastin’ e’en, men bein’ whiney like that. But I suppose that’s th’ chance ye take whence decidin’ t’ marry a pirate. I canna say fer sure though as I’ve ne’er been addle-pated enough t’ try it.
Aye, men can be such a chore sometimes. So, after a few winks and promises and secret pinches and a full round o’ See! Look At This Boo-Boo I Got In Battle, he softened a bit….though that weren’t exactly th’ result I were lookin’ fer. And whilst he were still smilin’ and happy t’ see me and pointin’ to a scab I took my leave and returned t’ th’ ship thinkin’ it best not t’ have him accused o’, what were sure t’ be seen by th’ tight-arsed Powers That Be, unnatural crimes wit’ a red haired lad.
I also figured it more kind t’ get him used t’ me leavin’ at th’ odd moment fer were I not a pirate and belongin’ t’ th’ sea?
As th’ sun fell I turned wit’ more'n a twinge o’ guilt an’ disappeared int’ th’ night.
*Stay tuned for PART THE THIRD