IF THEY SEND IT YOU WILL ANSWER

1. What is your occupation? Captain of Piratical Debauchery

2. What color are your socks right now? dog hair yellow

3. What are you listening to right now? the sound of one hand clapping

4. What was the last thing that you ate? my heart out

5. Can you drive a stick shift? how many transmissions am I allowed?

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? the whole box

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? an unfortunate telemarketer

8. One True Love? Jamie MacDougall...well that and cheese...

9. How old are you today? before or after I got up?

10. Favorite drink? don't mind if I do

11. What is your favorite sport? kipper netting

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Is this a trick question?

13. Pets? Of course. They're the only ones who won't break your heart

14. What was the last movie you watched? Art School Confidential

15 . What do you do to vent anger? I plead the 5th on that

16 . What was your favorite toy as a child? Mister Foxwinkles

17. What is your favorite fall or spring?
I usually fall when ever I try to spring

18. Hugs or kisses? Oreos

19. Cherries or Blueberry? Well, I've still got my blueberry.....

20. Living arrangements? Not so's you'd notice

21. When was the last time you cried? Inside or out?

22. What is on the floor of your closet?
107 pairs of shoes, 68 purses and a small amount of what appears to be monster poo

23. What did you do last night? I plead the 5th on that

24. Favorite smells? Wet dog, sardines and cotton candy

25. What are you afraid of? Fear

26. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? I don't do ground beef

27. Favorite dog breed? I'd never let my dog breed...he's very innocent

28. Number of keys on your key ring? many

29. How many years at your current job? many

30. Favorite day of the week? many

31. How many states have you lived in?
does the state of depression count? what about the state of confusion? disarray? chaos? inertia? the list goes on....

32. Favorite holiday? Talk Like A Pirate Day

33. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
no, but I once drove a heavy motorcycle driver insane with a machine

34. Best vacation ever? Hawaii.... with 50 senior citizens

35. Worst vacation ever? Hawaii ....with 50 senior citizens

36. Happy or Content? whatever's left

37. Life “do over”? Why?
I'd probably try to clear that bridge abutment next time around
Why? You have to ask?

38. One person I wish I had 5 more minutes with?
My Uncle Whitey

39. What I miss most?
The five minutes

40. The most beautiful sight?
The open sea from the bow of a ship

41. One wish?
The open sea from the bow of a ship